🦋 Newsroom for a demon 2025: CANON PRIMER (v. 2.0) 🔥

 

🦴 “Today on the Demons Newsroom: Is parasocial satire ethical when you’re deeply gay and haunted by your own bit? We asked Ronan Farrow. He didn’t respond. That means yes.”

“… Ethics? In this economy?”

Friday, April 18th, 2025

🌪️ WHAT IS N4D/The DEMONS NEWSROOM?

The Demons Newsroom is a satirical, experimental media outlet run by Gukgak — a feral, possibly eldritch, possibly ex-journalist entity trapped between timelines, bad relationships, and an unpaid internship at the end of the world.

Think:
🕵️‍♀️ The Newsroom meets 🐍 The Snake Pit meets 🧠 late-night panic attack—filtered through meme logic, a cursed teleprompter, and the charisma of a manic pixie doomsday prophet who used to be a media ethics major. Demons Newsroom is a psychedelic, post-apocalyptic news satire broadcasted from a dimension where facts are emotionally true, timelines are optional, and the teleprompter is haunted by a girlboss exorcist.

It’s a newsroom the way Twin Peaks is a coffee shop: sure, technically… but also no.
Think: Adult Swim meets NPR meets late-stage grief processing via meme-cursed cable access.

🦋 WHO HOSTS THIS: Why is my Girlfriend mad at me?

MOTHRA.
… Yes, that Mothra. Giant, sacred, bioluminescent moth goddess of prophecy, rebirth, and vaguely sapphic gender expression.
In-universe, Mothra is your girlfriend…. Outside of it, she might still be.

As host, Mothra hovers benevolently/ominously over the newsroom—offering wisdom, stillness, and chaotic tethering. She might be the only thing keeping the set from collapsing into another plane. Or maybe she's the cause. Either way, she’s the emotional center. And she believes in you, even when you don’t.

🗣️ THE CORRESPONDENTS

😈 GUKGAK

Our First Correspondent, though that term is used loosely. They are part ex-girlfriend, part unreliable narrator, part strategic communications demon who once ran a think tank in Hell. They are not here to be trusted. They are here to deliver emotionally true nonsense with journalistic rhythm and a touch of accidental witchcraft.

Gukgak uses satire and hyperbole to explore themes like:

  • Parasocial obsession

  • Feminized madness in media

  • Truth vs narrative control

  • Spiritual damage from late capitalism

  • Gender as a lens flare

They are also known for their catchphrases like:

  • “If we can’t blame McKinsey, blame Ronan Farrow.”

  • “I didn’t do 9/11, allegedly, in a different deepfake.”

  • “This just in: nobody is my boyfriend.”

  • “We regret to inform you that The Matrix is still on air.”

IS GUKGAK YOU?
Yes and no. Gukgak is a character — a vessel for chaotic processing and cathartic satire. But like all good satire, it’s rooted in real emotion, real confusion, and the desire to scream without hurting anyone.

  • Feral chaos demon

  • Former journalist, current Problem™

  • Chain-smokes ghost cigarettes

  • Has strong opinions on McKinsey, gender, and what makes a good latte

  • Once saw the truth of the universe and asked for a refund

  • Thinks satire is a spell

  • Uses phrases like, “you’re lucky I’m a post-ironic communist or I’d be a CEO by now.”

Gukgak delivers hot takes, burns bridges, and hosts the "Media Ethics, Allegedly" segment where they try to explain why tagging Ronan Farrow in everything is funny and valid.

🌀 AARON CARTER (resurrected & rebranded)

  • Ghost in the machine

  • Haunts the newsroom like a tragic lounge singer trying to warn you about the Illuminati

  • Represents lost boy energy and the generational ache of millennial pop culture collapse

  • Can only appear during certain planetary alignments or when you say “TRL” three times into a broken iPod nano

  • Has unfinished business with Nickelodeon, but is learning to forgive himself

🕵️‍♂️ RONAN FARROW (as himself, but also very much not)

“Look I know Ronan Farrow is gay, okay, but this isn’t about that. It’s about power. And integrity…. And cheekbones.

So shut up.”

  • The last remaining journalist

  • Son of Frank Sinatra in this canon—yes, we went there

  • A haunted detective with anime himbo energy

  • Wears a trench coat, knows everything, speaks gently but always like he’s about to blow this whole thing wide open

  • Might be a figment of Gukgak’s projection. Might be real. Might be watching. We hope he laughs. Please don’t sue.

  • Fully gay. Fully respected. But also kind of… the crush object of the newsroom’s collective emotional disarray

His vibe: “I didn’t ask to be your conscience, but here we are. Pass me the mic.”